


Sure Ain't a Mint Julep

by Ijustwannaread



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: (attempted), Fluff, Humor, M/M, Mildly Romantic?, One Shot, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:49:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22471342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ijustwannaread/pseuds/Ijustwannaread
Summary: Jim and Bones get drunk and talk about Spock.
Relationships: James T. Kirk & Leonard "Bones" McCoy, James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 5
Kudos: 150





	Sure Ain't a Mint Julep

“Non-replicated liquor? Pinch me, Jim, I must be dreaming,” McCoy said, sounding fond in a way he rarely did while on duty as Chief Medical Officer. He gazed at the gleaming bottles of mysterious and foreign liquor with relish.

Jim Kirk, for his part, smiled with more relief than anything. Although he hadn't expected to join his friend on shore leave, the moment that he set foot in the dimly lit dive bar Jim felt the tension ease from his shoulders for the first time in a long time.

They sat down at two well-worn stools at the corner of the bar. Immediately, the bartender placed two doubles of a bright amber liquid in front of them. He regarded them somberly.

“Only the best for Starfleet officers, tonight.” Jim and McCoy traded grimaces, and raised their glasses at the bartender in silent thanks.

Apparently, saving a planet from a hostile takeover provided one perk other than enough nightmare fuel to send Jim bolting awake in the middle of the night. Small mercies.

McCoy raised his eyebrows and took in a short breath. They clinked glasses and took an exploratory sip.

Almost simultaneously, they choked violently on the substance that could only be described as arguably potable lighter fluid.

Eyes streaming, McCoy clapped Jim on the back as he coughed through the aftertaste.

“That'll wake you up in the morning,” Jim gasped.

“Sure ain't a mint julep,” McCoy agreed, taking another tentative pull. “Bet you're glad you decided to come down, after all. We're getting the royal treatment and everything.”

“Can't say it was my idea. Spock swindled me into coming down,” Jim admitted. He barely stifled an admiring smile, despite himself. McCoy snorted.

“That magnificent bastard. Remind me to give him my regards.”

“Oh no, no. The last thing I need is the two of you in cahoots, Bones,” Jim said. His lips were buzzing with the alcohol. Whatever it was, it worked fast. McCoy smiled languidly, clearly feeling it as well.

“Keep dreaming,” McCoy replied, “Besides, it's you who's been downright chummy with him, lately.”

“He's my first officer,” Jim protested, gaze fixed down at his glass.

“You spend time with him off shift practically every other night. You worried he's – what – _lonely_ after Uhura?” McCoy finished his drink to punctuate his point.

Jim couldn't prevent himself from choking out a laugh at the thought. Spock. Lonely.

Jesus.

“Besides, those two are still thick as thieves even though she's been seeing that Ensign Mohamed from Engineering.”

“Bones, you always gossip like a little old Southern lady?”

“You going to pretend you haven't noticed those two?” It was hard to miss the way Mohamed had mooned over Uhura since he'd been assigned to the _Enterprise_. Jim was glad they worked out, because, although Mohamed was a good officer, he'd been considering transferring him to spare him the agony of pining after Nyota Uhura. The pain of that could kill lesser men.

“I make a point to observe the interpersonal relationships between all of my crewmen,” Jim hedged. McCoy rolled his eyes hard enough to hurt.

The bartender smoothly replaced their drinks with fresh ones, this time in a deep, dark navy color. They both eyed it with suspicion, but not enough to stop them from taking a swig.

The taste: jet fuel with an aftertaste of rancid grapes. Jim persevered through a full body shudder while McCoy dug his fingernails into the bar top.

“Let's not forget to stash a couple bottles of this elixir back on the ship,” McCoy said, once he had his breath back.

“Like hell. One sip of this stuff would actually _kill_ Sulu,” Jim said.

McCoy laughed shortly. The tale of Sulu's lightweight tendencies was already that of _Enterprise_ legend.

“And one drink's got you three sheets to the wind, Captain.”

“Speak for yourself, Doctor McCoy.”

They both grinned loosely.

“Well, what about you, then? You gonna fall in madly love with another townie like you did on shore leave on Beta Antares IV?”

“Uncalled for, Bones,” Jim groaned. “Just because I'm not a confirmed bachelor like you -”

“Watch it, kid,” McCoy warned lightly.

They fell into a contemplative silence for a moment. The fire the drinks left in Jim's stomach was spreading, and before he knew it, the words had spilled out.

“I slept with Spock.” He plugged the rest of his drink, and studied the bar menu as he suffered through the burn.

McCoy looked at him sharply and set his glass down loudly. He ran his hands down his face. He didn't say a word for several agonizing beats.

“You're a thundering idjit.”

“Thanks for the support, Bones.” Jim massaged his temple, regretting every decision he'd made to lead him to this moment.

“You know he's your first officer.”

“I was aware of that, thank you.”

McCoy seemed to think hard for a long moment, then he grabbed Jim by the shoulder, roughly.

“You romantic fuck, you fell for that goddamn Vulcan bastard, didn't you?”

Jim paused and considered. Then he couldn't prevent the smile that pulled at the corners of his lips.

“Guilty.” McCoy scoffed towards his glass, and shook his head slowly.

“God help us all.” McCoy clapped Jim hard on the back. He raised his glass in salute.

Jim felt another, new weight lift off of his shoulders.

**Author's Note:**

> Is this short? Yes. Is this pointless? Arguably. But this was for me, by me - I wanted something sweet and nice with some McCoy and Jim bonding time.


End file.
